Being Bono

Psst! Just Between You and Me...

2005-10-31T19:35:00.000-05:00

It's confession time... the Catholic half of me must admit something.....

If you really wanna know the truth, I don't HAVE to wear sunglasses for any medical reasons or any other crap reason that I may have claimed lately, I wear them because I'm the baddest mo**er-f***er in the planet, and NOBODY has the balls to tell me to take them off! Plus, come on.... you know they're cooler than the other side of the pillow! :)

Staring At The Sun (Because I CAN in $300 shades!),

Holy Joe.

Not Only Am I The Spokesperson

2005-10-30T19:28:00.000-05:00

for the Hair Club for Men..... I'm also a struggling member!

My Hair Moves is Mysterious Ways,

Barely-There Bono.

A Touching Occasion

2005-10-28T19:10:00.000-04:00

The Edge has really come a long way lately. Recently, I was one of a select circle of friends who were allowed to witness his family coming from whatever place and whatever time in the future he's from come and pay him a visit.

However, this trip really has thrown me for a loop. Not only did they come and bring him new beanies, but they brought him SHEET MUSIC!!!!!

That bastard.... when he saw how pale and confused I was when I saw the guitar chords and tabs, he laughed and asked, "You really think I come up with all that kick-ass music by myself?! HAH! No single human could do that, you imbecile!"

Needless to say, I'm a bit disillusioned. Regardless, it was a humbling and touching experience. I'll describe his family some day in the future, when I get over the shock.

Here we are waving the "Edge Family" God-speed!

Elevating Souls Worldwide,

Bono Vox.

F**k the press....

2005-10-27T09:59:00.000-04:00

F**k Larry while we're at it, too.

Discotheque was a great fookin' song, and regardless of what Larry thinks, I was a sexy beast in that video!

BOOM-CHA! BOOM-CHA!

Living Like It's the Last Night on Earth,

The Insufferable Baby Jesus.

Achtung, Baby!

2005-10-26T20:53:00.000-04:00

Look who's on the cover of RS again! I took some time out from brokering a peace deal in the Middle East to give the lovely "peeps" at RS some time with your favorite rock star. I gotta say, I'm not looking too shabby. By the way, thanks to Ellie from Minnesota for returning my sunglasses, which as you can see, I am wearing on the cover. Strangely, she says the Edge gave them to her after a show early this Spring and told her, "Take these crap shades and knock 'Em Dead on Ebay! While you're at it, drop out of High School if you make enough dough off of it!"

That's really strange for The Edge to do that, but I'm glad I got my favorite pair back.

Rolling Stone Cover Man,

Bono

To The Bloody Wimp...

2005-10-26T20:17:00.000-04:00

who yelled out "Where's my Lucky Charms, you f***ing Irish Leprechaun?!" while I was signing autographs the other day, please know that I have friends in high places, and I will find out where you park your car.

And then, I'm gonna wait for you outside of your car and go Macphisto on your ass.

Love and Peace or Else,

Bono

B & W

2005-10-22T22:02:00.000-04:00

Here I am having to explain to "W" that the reason I can't possibly take my sunglasses off for the photo op is because through the red tint, I'm prevented from seeing that his eyeballs are completely brown due to how full of crap he is sometimes. Wearing them allows me to be able to look him in the face and not break out laughing.

Hey, if he wouldn't have insisted, I wouldn't have had to say it. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Numb,

B.

"From The Future"

2005-10-15T20:45:00.000-04:00

Finally, Edge and I made up. He broke down and confided to me that he is actually a space traveller from the future. Larry and Adam admitted to me that they met the Edge as he came down from a spaceship about 30 years ago, while the 4 notes from "Miracle Drug" were emanating from the vessel. They have PICTURES to prove it!

After I managed to calm down and regain my composure, I asked him what it was like..... "It's better", was all he would say. Then he laughed out loud and walked away.

"It's better?!" I need to know more. I DESERVE better! How long before I win a Nobel Peace Prize? Have I really passed my growth spurt, and I'm not gonna get any taller? When will I find what I'm looking for, damnit?! He knows, but he's not telling. Oh well.... he doesn't get to pull a girl from the audience every night and wipe that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth after two hours of singing all over her shirt, without repurcussions! Hah! I can do ANYTHING!

With or Without You,

Bad Ass Bono.

The More You See, The Less You Know....

2005-06-18T11:36:00.000-04:00

Recognize this lunatic? The Edge. Mr. Evans, to some, right?

B.S.! After embarassing me by thrashing my VERY competent guitar playing skills, I had some friends at Interpol look up Mr. Edge's past, before the band got together.

It turns out there i's no RECORD of his birth ANYWHERE. When I confronted him with this, and asked him who the hell he is, he laughed like a mental patient whose dosage needs to be increased and told me to watch my back at our next show..... "You never know when a Fender could crush your big, fat Irish skull from behind, Amigo!" were his exact words. I'm afraid. Very afraid. What's wrong with this guy lately?

Running To Stand Still,

The Wanderer

Heartbreaking Day for Me

2005-06-14T20:25:00.000-04:00

A photographer captures my reaction as Edge, in a drunken fit of laughter, admits on a LIVE radio show that my guitar tracks have been on "mute" since 1990 on every album we've made. That's what you call f***ed up! Edge is evil.

Hurting,

Lemon-Spaceship Pilot

Almost Like Punk Rock Made on Venus

2005-05-26T20:05:00.000-04:00

We're really rocking it on this tour! I TOLD you that this album was punk rock made on Venus.... and then I changed my mind, and said it was our best album ever... and then I said it was ONE of our best ever ..... I REALLY like it. It's good. But damn, live... that's where the album comes into its own, where you can FEEL the freedom. Freedom, by the way, smells like the top of a newborn baby's head. Seriously. It does. Talk to you soon!

Zoo Station Conductor

About Fookin' Time

2005-04-07T20:00:00.000-04:00

It seems that everybody but the B-man has a bleedin' blog, so I finally found a minute in my immensely busy schedule to put one togerher.

Not everybody has to contend with being on the Biggest Tour of the Year, Saving The World, Eliminating Debts of entire continents, Making Poverty History, and promoting CoeXisTence. It's not easy work.

That having been said, this blog will permit you to enter my mind... if you dare. If while you're in there, you can tell me where I left my damn shades, please let me know....

Love,

The B-Man